xmas

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Ah, Xmas...

the decoration of the xmas tree...

the gifts with pretty wrappings...

the fat rooster with a carrot in the (CENSORED)

Bloody hell, what a pleasure to avoid such boring things !

When I was 6 I already hated Xmas.

Shit, a painting again... Fucking art.

Don't you think it was nuts to offer
the genuine Joconde to a 6 years old girl ?

I must say my family was one of the richest in the world...

So I was so digusted with all that expensive shit...

... that I offer this gift to all my grandchildren.
And I have 37 grandchildren. I think in the family everyone loves to (CENSORED).

A potatoe, pins for the hair, a few cuts for the eyes,
a match for the nose and cloves for the mouth.

Well, and what about the xmas tree ?

Well, for me, having a Xmas tree is just like keeping...

... a corpse in a corner of my living room during a month.

A corpse you throw on the sidewalk like an old hooker.

I have another solution. I pick a hot guy...

... I decorate him with garlands and a few decorative xmas fucking things.
No need to add balls, he already got them.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree !
How are thy (CENSORED) so (CENSORED) !
Not only in the summertime,
But even in winter is thy prime.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How are thy (CENSORED) so (CENSORED) !

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me !
For every year the Christmas tree,
Brings to me all both joy and glee.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me !



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Ask Paulette - Chéri, tu ne remarques rien ?

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Christine asks Paulette about an eternal problem :
her boyfriend didn't notice her new haircut...

Christine darling, this problem has forever existed !

For example, let's see what happened during prehistoric times...

- Honey, have you noticed any change ?
- Grmpf... You stay on your feet now ?

And this was the same during ages... Do you remember Marie-Antoinette ?

- Louis, honey, have you noticed any change ?

- Err... You have a new lover ? You changed your mind about your chocolate macaron pool ?
You're part of the Sofia Coppola next movie ?

By the way, it's funny that Louis XVI, who weren't able to penetrate his wife...

... grew a passion for keys, keyholes and locks !

As a conclusion, we can agree men never see new haircuts.

Christine, I can only suggest to stop cutting your hair.
In order to surprise him, try to get them 2 meters longer... That's your last hope, dear.

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Salon des refusés

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Encore quelques dessins trouvés dans mon bordel, qui n'auraient jamais dû apparaître ici. Mais vu votre talent (voir les commentaires de dimanche dernier) pour imaginer une histoire, je poursuis le salon des refusés ce week-end encore...
Some lousy sketches again, like last sunday. Can you imagine a story with these ones ?

Et prix spécial à Christine qui m'a envoyé cette composition à partir des dessins ratés de la dernière fois. Merci.

Cliquez pour voir en grand

Bon samedi, draguez bien comme des fous sur de la musique rock et bon dimanche, brunchez bien sur de la roquette mûre.

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Désintox

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Twitter, facebook, parties...
I was totally bored of having millions of friends

I was a relationships addict.

So I decided to stop everything and to become an A- girl :
Asocial, Asexual... Isn't it a great idea ?

-You love this idea ? You want to do the same ? To disconnect ?
So let's build the Asocial Network !

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100% nature

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-I cooked for you an organic oat seeds salad.
I chewed each seed to extract the oil.

It's very tasty. And very good for digestion.
Fiber adds bulk to stool, allowing them to move
more easily and more quickly through the colon.

Perhaps this salad will make you fart a little,
but that's a good sign after all.
And this place is very well ventilated.
And did you know that the immediate roots
of "fart" are in the Middle English words ferten, feortanfarten;
which is akin to the Old High German word ferzan.
Cognates are found in old Norse, Slavic and also Greek and Sanskrit.

And if you want to go to the restrooms, be careful : I got dry toilets.

Every month I make perfumed letter paper with the litter.
It's green, it's delicate, it's fresh.

So, do you like the salad ?

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Fille barrée

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Le samedi et le dimanche c'est le salon des refusés. Des dessins ratés qui traînent dans Robbie. Robbie est un meuble de cuisine des années 1950, aujourd'hui repeint en gris très clair. Pourvu de multiples portes et truffé de petits tiroirs, il ressemble au robot de Forbidden Planet, d'où son nom. Il contient entre autre une bonne bouteille de Bourgogne, des photos et mes ustensiles : mon bloc de feuilles, les crayons, les archives.
Lousy english translation : on saturdays and sundays you lucky guys can see my bad drawings. The censored (failed?) ones. They hang in a piece of furniture in my drawing room : this locker (placard?) looks like the robot in the movie Forbidden Planet, with a lot of doors and drawers. In it you can find a good bottle of red wine, my paper and my pencils.

Avec un peu d'imagination, je suis sûr que vous pourrez trouvez une histoire à partir de ce barbu noir&bleu, cette fille barrée et cette esquisse de Paulette ratée. Bon dimanche et pas de DDS.
With a bit of imagination, perhaps you can find a story about this bearded man, this scribbled girl and this unfinished Paulette. Have a nice week-end.
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Cassandra's interactive therapy

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Cassandra is a model I met in a party.
Cassandra exerce le matier de mannequin.

Today you're her shrink.
Aujourd'hui vous êtes son psy.

"C'est sûr, c'est super de se voir sur toutes ces couvs de magazines.
Mais en même temps, je me sens comme fragmentée..."

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So. What therapy can you give her ?
Quelle thérapie lui conseillez-vous ?
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