Les malheurs de Jehan de Culas

Viagra spams used to make me laugh too...



















But let's start from the beginning.




















My wife was bored with spending my money at Dior or Chanel.
So I offered her a thing she dreamt about.




















Drawing lessons.
She always wanted to be an international artiste, like Madonna or Andy Warhol.




















I know that's quite stupid.
But it's better than having a real job and earning more money than me.


















In theory, that's a cool project.
First she scribbles a little, then I'll buy her a few galleries all over the world,
my friends will buy her "artwork". Perfect plan.




















So I offer her one year of drawing lessons in the most prestigious art school.




















The first day, I ask her to show me her drawings. Just to please her, to show I'm interested in her fad...
And wow, holy shit, that's a shock for me. A real shock.

























Dicks. Dicks everywhere.
Those drawing lessons are exclusively about nude sketches.















































Then I realize I have offered her 3-times-a-week dates with penises.




















I can't help wondering... Comparing them with mine.
Are they bigger ? Longer ? Prettier ?




















I am so obsessed with that question... An now I totally lost my confidence. Totally impotent.
A poor noodle.




















My shrink says I must become a model for nude sketches as a therapy.
But that's so a losers' job...

























I'm not going to jeopardize my Ferraris and my villas to save my dick, am I ?
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Ask Paulette

C'est une nouvelle rubrique permanente de la colonne de gauche.
Click when you want on the new button in the left column of this blog.

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Fashion Week 5 - VIP room

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-ahahah, here is my seat.


















Argh ! Who are these bitches !
























































And why they drink CHAMPAGNE and I don't ?!


















Wait and see, you pretentious cunts...
























































Done !


















Look, you stupid moron : you can read ? Yes ?
It says Very Important Paulette. That's my private space.


















Hey, you gatecrashers ! Freeloaders ! Get out NOW !


















Soooooooo... Let the show begin !
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Fashion Week 4 - Backstage

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Well, visiting the backstage is not so interesting...













The only things you see are ankles and knees.















You're right, they're very tall those bitchy models.












But look up ! What do you see, Rhonda ?













Look very carefully, that's very inspiring for shaving...













brazilian shapes, stamp shape, triangle shape,













square shape, bat shape, apple shape, eagle shape, heart shape and strip off...













That is fashion too.
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Fashion Week 3 - Girls just want to have...

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Have you seen this disaster ?












No ? Nothing to say about it ? Rrrrrrrreally ?












Ok, of course you're so pleased to see a topless model ! You like that, you kinky fellow !












Her wide green eyes, her perfect legs, her delicate and soft skin...












Her lovely round ass, her lovely tits, her...












Well. What was I saying ?












So, look at her closely now.

























You see this frightened look ?












She's like a banana in front of King Kong.












All this because she has been caught eating...












A chocolate biscuit !!!












So, my dear, let's be generous. Let's fill up our Dior bags, our Chanel bags, our Louis Vuitton bags with...












Sausages and french stinking good cheese !!!












And let's got to the Paris Fashion Weeks to throw this food to models on stage while they walk !














Are you ready ? Fashionistas and fashionisters, everybdy with me !












This is our hymn ! Remember Cindy Lauper ?
NOW, ALL OVER THE WORLD, SING WITH ME !!!




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Boost your bass and click here for the original version : move your body with Paulette. wow.

Fashion Week 2 - Karl Lagerfeld

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-Mr Karl... Mr Karl Lag...
Excuse me I'm so excited and moved...
Karl Lagerfeld ?!
















What ? Nop. I'm Paulette.
























People are so stupid.
I just try a new haircut and
they piss me off with silly and inept remarks.












That's fucking encouraging.
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edit


The Anthology m'a décerné le Divine Award, si ça c'est pas la classe, je vais être obligé de faire plaquer or mon smoking, de faire sertir mes tongs de rubis et de me faire éventer par de douces Circasiennes et leurs longues palmes, doucement remuées comme dans St John Perse. Bien.
Et donc puisque sur la blogosphère quand tu reçois un prix tu le payes en répondant à une liste de questions plus ou moins cons, il s'agit là de donner 5 plaisirs coupables,
puis de passer l'Award à d'autres victimes innocentes qui n'ont rien demandé.

The Anthology passed me the Divine award,
which comes with a tag — to list five guilty pleasures.

5 plaisirs coupables

1. dessiner Paulette / drawing Paulette
2. boire du champagne à jeun / drinking champagne in the morning
3. répondre à ce tag / answering this tag
4. faire passer ce tag / passing this tag to others
5. terminer ce tag / finishing this tag


Alors, donc je décerne la patate chaude... euh pardon le Divine Aouarde à...

http://www.garancedore.fr


http://margauxmotin.typepad.fr/margaux_motin


http://drawingsbyscheherazade.blogspot.com


http://irisdemouy.blogspot.com


http://francoissimon.typepad.fr/simonsays/


http://www.chroniquesduplaisir.fr/


http://www.littlestylebox.com/blog.php


http://chroniquesolfactives.blogspot.com/